


Lost Memories

by eerian_sadow



Series: PJ Anniversary challenge 2014 [8]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Depression, Happy Ending, Homelessness, M/M, Mentions of Character Death, Mentions violence, Pre-War, and post-war, bring all your tissues, fall of praxus, mentions of suicidal ideation, other traumatizing events
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-09 10:55:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13480026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eerian_sadow/pseuds/eerian_sadow
Summary: In a ruined tower in New Iacon, a young historian-in-training finds a set of very old, very valuable documents. They become a graduate project and an adventure all in one.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been in the works for literally years, as part of a fill for a challenge from… 2014, I think, at the prowlxjazz community on livejournal/dreamwidth. I love the story and the OCs I constructed for it, and it is high time this fic sees the light of day!

**_The historical documents of the time claim that the officers who served under Optimus Prime during the Decepticon War were a close-knit group, and that none were closer than his second and third in command. Many have speculated over the vorns as to exactly what that means. Were they merely close friends? Were they possibly related? Were they lovers? The details have been lost to time, and many a curious historian has searched for clues to the relationship between Chief Tactician Prowl and Spymaster Jazz._ **

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The femme made her way carefully through the remains of the old office, picking her way across treacherously rusted flooring and broken bits of ceiling. When she had signed on to help catalog and clear the oldest buildings remaining on Cybertron to make way for new construction, she had entertained visions of great discoveries not layers of decay and filth. She was appalled enough at the conditions that she had trouble seeing how grand the buildings had likely been in their prime.

This room wasn’t terribly inviting, and probably hadn’t been when it was still in use, save for the crystals that had overgrown the desk before they ran out of nutrients. Still, she dutifully took image captures of everything as she walked, noting the location and time stamping them all for further categorization. The archeology and anthropology departments would, at least, get something of value from her trip.

Once the room was properly documented visually, she began inspecting the meager amount of furniture that remained intact. The desk was held up by the crystal growths, though the slightest disturbance would bring them both down. One chair, clearly constructed for a mech with wings, had survived the ceiling collapse and might be salvageable for the museum's purposes. An old style file cabinet took up one corner, its drawers rusted shut. The remaining surviving item was a storage crate, the exceptionally sturdy kind issued to military mechs even now.

The lid was rusted shut, but it looked sound otherwise. Carefully, she nudged it to get a feel for how heavy it was. When it slid across the floor a few millimeters, she decided to pick it up and carry it out. If she was lucky, the masters students would let her have the contents to herself for a change.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

One of the demolition engineers, a sweet Constructicon called Step-Up, took the crate from her hands as she stepped outside. "Here, Vestige, I'll load this for you. Which transport is your team's?"

"Thanks." She gave him a smile. The crate wasn't heavy, but the demolition team didn't have much to do until the artifacts were cleared out. "It's the little green one with the orange wheels. There's a chair up in room 23X that can go to the museum, too, if one of you want to go get it. And a filing cabinet we'll need to lower through to the floor below to remove safely."

"Sounds good. Crawlway's been looking for something to do. I'll send him and Tow Line to handle the extraction."

"Great, thanks." They walked to the small transport and Vestige climbed into the cargo bed as Step-Up set the crate down. "You wouldn't have anything I would pry this open with, would you?"

"Should you do that out here? I know some of this stuff's pretty delicate."

"Probably not, but I'm dying to know what's inside."

"Sorry, kid. You're on your own." The Constructicon shook his head. "I'm not taking the heat from your boss if you break something useful."

The femme resisted the urge to pout. Step-Up was right, even if he was keeping her from satisfying her curiosity. It wasn't worth getting into trouble with Professor Lancer over, when she could just wait a few more groons and open the crate back at the university.

 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

"Wow, data work! What a great find!" The student sharing Vestige's cleaning room was unhelpfully sarcastic as they peered into the crate at the small stack of data pads. "Bet you wish one of the masters students had stolen this one from you."

"The Earth historians have found a great deal of useful data in things like crop reports," Vestige reminded him. "It'll at least be as useful as those."

"I'll stick with these old energy blades," her companion said. "You have fun with your crop reports."

The femme shot him a dirty look and picked up the first data pad in the stack. She tried the power button hopefully, but was unsurprised when the old device stayed dark. With a sigh, she made her way to the storage cabinet for the portable battery chargers. After she found one that would fit the old pad, she brought it back to her work table and plugged it in.

Several kliks passed before the indicator light that said the device was able to power up turned on, and she used those moments to look through the rest of the stack. One pad had a cracked display and might not project without an external monitor attachment, but overall they had survived surprisingly intact. It was amazing what tiny things could weather the ravages of time and war.

Vestige laid out the other pads, arranging them so she could check the broken one next, and the picked the first pad back up. The screen brightened when she tried the power button again and she waited patiently for the data to load.

_Prowl,_ it began, _Congratulations on making senior tactician! I always knew you had it in you!_

The femme's face widened in a smile as she settled down to read. This was much better than crop reports.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Prowl,_

_Congratulations on making senior tactician! I always knew you had it in you!_

_I'm so proud of you, mech. All those years of studying and skipping the good parties paid off in the end. You're going to be great out there! Just don't forget to come visit all of us back home sometimes._

_Your friend,  
Jazz_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Jazz,_

_You know I would never forget you or our families. I wouldn't be where I am without you._

_I was very glad to receive your message today. It has been stressful in the tactical department recently and your message was a welcome relief._

_I wish you would reconsider your own enrollment in the Guard. There are many positions you would enjoy, and we would benefit from your ability to think quickly and your irrepressible personality. And... it would be nice to see you again._

_I will be back through Praxus soon, and I promise to stop and visit. Give my love to your creators and tell Ricochet that I have not forgotten that he borrowed my video recording equipment._

_Your friend,  
Prowl_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Prowl,_

_Even if I thought the Guard was the place for me, I can't get away now. Freeway’s come down with some kind of really aggressive rust infection and Ricochet’s out of work again. I’m stuck taking care of the littles while Lightwing is putting in extra hours to pay for Freeway’s treatment. Ricochet’s doing what he can, but that’s not much when he’s out looking for a job all cycle._

_Speaking of my twin, he says he left your recording equipment at your creator’s place right before your letter got here. He said it was a big help and that his video resume should make a big difference now. So, thanks for that. Anything that gives us a hand matters right now._

_It’ll be great to see you when you make it around, but be ready to have to sparklingsit! I’ll probably still be taking care of the hatchlings for a while yet. They’re almost three meters tall now, and getting into everything. They’re also going through designations like Ricochet used to go through paint schemes, so I imagine they’ll finally settle on something and we’ll get to throw their naming parties soon. I hope you’ll be able to get leave then; they ask about you all the time and I know they’ll want you to be there._

_I made a new friend the other day while I had the littles out at the garden. He’s a military mech too, but definitely an older model, and recognized your name when I mentioned you. Guess you must really be getting around! He tried to recruit me, but you know how well that works._

_I can't wait to see you again. Lightwing sends her love, and I know Freeway would too if he were feeling better. Try not to worry about us too much._

_Your friend,  
Jazz_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Jazz,_

_You should know by now that I always worry. I hope what I've enclosed with this letter is enough for you and your family to get by on, but if you need more I will send it next pay cycle. Do not argue and simply use the credits to ensure that the hatchlings have enough fuel._

_My leave in Praxus is scheduled for the first solar cycle after the new vorn. Not as soon as I had hoped, but at least I know a solid date. Of course I'll be happy to help you sparklingsit. I imagine that I would have a difficult time persuading them to leave me alone._

_I must look more worried about Freeway than I think, because our medic asked if I was feeling unwell. This led to a conversation about your sire's condition (please forgive my presumption) and Suture recommended a well-renowned medic who keeps an office on the southern end of Praxus. He claims that Ratchet is one of the best medics in existence and says that he'll find a cure if one is possible. I've included his contact information, if your creators wish to speak with Ratchet._

_I know he doesn't want to anymore than you do, but if Ricochet continues to have difficulty obtaining employment, entering the Guard will at least provide a steady pay schedule. And speaking of recruitment, Trailbreaker mentioned you as well. He found you and the littles quite charming and says he hopes to see you again when he next visits Praxus. He works with me in tactical, so his knowledge of me does not mean I'm getting around; I suggested the Helix Garden as a relaxing place to spend a few hours of leave once._

_I must request, however, that you don't make a habit of befriending my fellow tacticians. Several of them now tease me with threats of stealing "my mech" while they're on leave and it has grown tiresome._

_Please send word if Freeway's situation changes. See you after the new vorn._

_Your friend,  
Prowl_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Prowl,_

_You didn't have to do that, mech. I know they don't pay you that well, and you should keep it for yourself. Never know when you're going to need the credits._

_I used some of it for energon like you said, and then took the littles in for their overdue development checks. Apparently, they're right on track and the oldest (Wingtip this cycle) should be able to start taking flying lessons soon. Rocket is developing the right frame set to be a racer, and their medic says he's going to start needing specialty mods soon to support a high-speed frame._

_Life just keeps getting more expensive. Your credits helped a lot now, but I don't know what we'll do in the long run. You can't pay for my siblings' maintenance and upgrades, and I wouldn't want you to. I just don't know what to do, because playing in the clubs after hours isn't paying enough bills anymore._

_Ricochet said he'll think about the Guard. He hasn't gotten any calls, and I think he's getting desperate. I think the Guard might be good for him after all, even if only because he'd have fuel and shelter. I'm beginning to think he feels that way too._

_Lightwing took Freeway to see Ratchet. I guess they figured anything was better than sitting around waiting to die, and I definitely agree. I don't know if he really is as good as your unit medic says, but he did know how to treat this rust infection. It's not _just_ a rust infection, though. Apparently it's actually a metal eating bacteria (who knew those would even survive on Cybertron!) and the symptoms just mimic rust. The treatment's expensive, but Ratchet gave Freeway the antimicrobial first and is letting us pay for it in installments. Never heard of a medic doing that, but I'm grateful for it._

_I didn't mean to cause trouble with your teammates, you know. Trailbreaker is just a nice mech. And you know I'd never ditch you for one of them. You're my best friend, and you might as well be part of my family. Maybe they'll leave you alone if you threaten to offline them for dating your brother...?_

_The new vorn can't get here fast enough. I miss your voice, and I want to hug you something fierce._

_Your friend,  
Jazz_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Vestige looked up with wonder as she realized what she had been reading. These weren’t just any letters. These were letters between two of Optimus Prime’s most famous officers, written long before the Decepticon War. Even if the rest of the data pads were blank, this one set of letters might be the most important documentation about Jazz and Prowl ever to have existed.

Quickly, she stowed the rusting crate in its airtight bin and set it on the car to be returned to storage. Then she gathered up the data pads and made her way toward the airlock that would let her out of the cleaning room. 

She was going to need a lot more equipment.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two is being posted on International Fanworks Day, how lovely. :D

**_It seems strange that two such prominent figures would become such mysteries, but after leaving military service Prowl and Jazz vanished from the public eye. And of course, without their visible presence, people soon began to forget about them beyond passing mentions. This process was sped along by the loss of many of the mechs who knew them to the Quintesson War and more of them to old age. Even now the few surviving members of Optimus’ crew--the former Prime included--will only smile at the mention of his two most famous officers and say that Jazz and Prowl shared a long and complex relationship._**

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Jazz,_

_As of this moment, I have only been back in Iacon for two solar cycles, but I miss you already. The new vorn celebration was not long enough to give me all the time I wanted with you or with our respective families. I have friends here at headquarters, but they aren't the same and they do a poor job of imitating your infectious zest for life. Also, surprisingly, I have realized that it is far too quiet here. I will have to purchase music tapes to fill the silence._

_I blame you, something I am sure you'll accept happily. In order to make up for it, you will simply have to give me recommendations for soft, harmonious music that will not disturb the working of the tactical office._

_I've put the drawings that the littles made for me on the wall of my tactical station. Smokescreen teased me, of course, but they remind me of home and I won't take them down unless ordered to. I also shared Lightwing's silicon wafers as instructed, and my fellow tacticians enjoyed them greatly._

_Was Freeway able to return to work this cycle as planned? He seemed very dispirited and frustrated while I was there, and that worries me a bit. I know how much of his personality you inherited, and I'm afraid this bacterial infection has done more than physical harm. And I know that you're going to tell me not to worry, but I will do it anyway, because your family is my family._

_Please remember that I love you all._

_Your friend,  
Prowl_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Prowl,_

_We miss you too. Dreadwing (possibly the designation he's settled on finally, since he's kept it since the day you got home for the new vorn) is especially sad without you. He says now that he's going to join the Guard so that he can be in tactics with you. If he still says that after his final upgrades, I hope you'll put in a good word for him with the instructors._

_I miss you too. It's like all the music's been turned down when you're gone. Speaking of music, I've attached a list of my favorite instrumental tracks to this letter, and they should all be pretty easy for you to find and listen to. And if you want to buy, Wavelength (you remember him from the music store, right? He's the one who set me up with that first dance club gig.) suggested a shop called Culture Shock for what you need. They front as a shop for the springy off world stuff the littles like so much, but Wave says they have a great selection of everything else in the back room._

_Freeway's back to work, but he's not doing so great. Being sick for so long really changed him, and it hasn't been for the better. He's pretty angry most of the time now, and he's started staying out a lot later. Ricochet is helping with the littles when he can, but nothing makes up for their sire when they want Freeway around. Lightwing's handling it all about as well as you can imagine._

_I'm scared Prowl. What happens if he leaves for the docks one day and just never comes back? We already know that Lightwing and I can't support everyone on our own._

_Don't know if you want to be part of this family anymore. Seems like it's falling apart at the seams._

_Your friend,  
Jazz_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Prowl,_

_Sometimes I hate when I'm right. He packed up some of his stuff before he left for the docks this cycle and said he wasn't coming back. Lightwing's a mess. Ricochet says he's going to the enlistment office later today._

_I wish you could come home. I need you._

_Jazz_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Jazz,_

_My unit commander has granted me special leave to handle a family crisis. I'm coming, and should arrive shortly after this letter._

_Prowl_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Carefully, Vestige searched each data pad to find its earliest recorded date and then arranged them in order. Once they were properly arranged, and with a monitor displaying the saved data on the broken pad, she began reading. Despite herself, the young history student found herself becoming engrossed in Prowl and Jazz's story. She lost four full rotational cycles to their lost history, and when she was done she knew exactly what to do with her find.

"Professor Lancer?"

The old femme looked up from the huge tome--with _actual pages_ \--that was resting on her desk. "Yes, Vestige?"

"I've finally found my graduation project, ma'am. I just need your approval."

"Does this have anything to do with the data pads you found in that old lockbox?"

Vestige nodded. "It does."

Lancer closed her book. "Have a seat, and tell me about it."

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Dear Big Brother Prowl,_

_Jazz says it's okay if we call you big brother, since you and your creators help take care of us now, so I'm going to because I like having you as my brother._

_I miss you a lot, but your carrier likes to tell stories about when you were my age, so sometimes it's like you're really here. Jazz says it will be a while before you can come see us again, because you made that special trip after our sire went away but I promise to wait patiently and not make trouble until you come home again._

_Will you take us to the big garden when you come? Jazz says he wants to go, but that we can't spend our credits on things we don't need right now. It might be nice for his spark-day, if you can come home._

_I made another picture for you. I hope your friends like it too._

_See you soon, Big Brother!_

_Love,  
Zoomer_

_Dear Prowl,_

_Hope Zoomer's letter made you smile. You'll probably get more, now that he's figured out what "writing a letter" means. He even stuffed the packet and made sure everything was inside before I took it to add my letter. It was nice to see him excited about something besides one of Silver's stories._

_Thanks to your creators, the littles are doing well in their education programs. Dreadwing's all settled into his name now, and getting into all the trouble you can imagine. He's still serious about following you (and now Ricochet) into the Guard and Lightwing and I don't have the spark to discourage him. We don't want any of you out where there could be combat, but Dreadwing's had enough of his life ruined already and we don't want to add more. Once he gets there, in about two vorns based on his upgrade patterns, just try and keep an eye on him. He won't be Seeker enough for the pure spark-lineages and he'll be too Seeker for the other fliers._

_Have you heard anything about how Ricochet is doing? I know you aren't part of the same division, but I was hoping there might be news that he's not telling us. His letters are drier than a circuit board and about half as long as Zoomer's. I know he doesn't want us to worry, but not telling us anything doesn't help that._

_And what about you? Been a while since you talked about how you were doing at work, or how you're getting along with the other tacticians._

_I finally applied for the Iacon Academy of Music and Arts right after you left this last time. I heard back from them today, and I've been accepted for the next academic cycle. It's still a ways off--about a vorn and a half--but given how hard it is to get in, I'm okay with that. Your creators are co-signing my tuition loan even though I argued against it, but I might be able to play enough club gigs before the academic cycle starts to pay it off without endangering their status._

_Primus bless your creators, Prowl. We never would have made it without them. And thank you, again, for finding a way to come home and be the voice of reason when we needed it._

_Love you,  
Jazz_

_I forgot: give your carrier a vid call. She has something she wants to show you._

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Dear Little Brother Zoomer_

_Thank you very much for the picture. Everyone in the department says it's wonderful and Trailbreaker asked to hang it in his workstation, since he doesn't have any little brothers to send him pictures. I can still see it from my workstation, so I let him put it by his computer and he smiles whenever he sees it._

_I'm glad that you like having me as a brother, because I like having you too.  
How are you doing in school? I liked school very much when I was your age, but I know it isn't as fun for everyone. I hope your classes aren't too hard, but if they are make sure to ask Jazz for help. _

_I will take all of you to the gardens when I come home. If my leave is long enough, we'll even go to the wild garden by the old palace, too._

_I promise to come home again soon. Take care of our family for me._

_Your Big Brother,  
Prowl_

_Jazz,_

_Zoomer's letter did indeed make me smile. I know these last several meta-cycles a have been difficult for him, so I am glad that writing to me seems like it will do some good. Perhaps you might suggest he write letters to Ricochet as well. Trailbreaker would also appreciate them, if Zoomer was so inclined. My fellow tactician was more taken with your siblings than I had thought; he asked about them first when I said there had been a family emergency._

_Of course I will keep an optic on Dreadwing once he joins the Guard. I would never leave any of my family without a friend during training or beyond. He will be a great asset to the air forces someday, and I look forward to that day._

_Ricochet is doing well. He is not keeping news from you because he wants to keep you from worrying, though. He is unable to speak about his current assignment for security reasons. I can assure you that he is in no danger and that his commander is extremely pleased with his performance. When one of us can tell you more, we will._

_I had been hoping you would apply for admission to the Academy soon, now that you were not the sole caretaker for the littles. I am pleased that you were accepted so quickly, though I have never doubted that you were talented enough to get in. As you say, it is a very difficult institute to gain entrance to. I am proud of you, Jazz. You are going to go far. And do not feel that you must pay off your debt so quickly that you overwork yourself; my creators would not have stepped forward to help if they were not willing to pay for your education. They simply co-signed your loan because you will not accept anything else._

_I am left wondering at how you signed your last letter. The glyph you used for love has a meaning deeper than that of family, but I hesitate to try and interpret your intention. I know what I would like for it to mean, but I do not wish to force any of my own feelings upon you, when you have left your own feelings... ambiguous. Still, I cannot help but hope--illogical as it is._

_Yours in hope,  
Prowl _

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Dear Prowl,_

_Of course I meant it that way. I've always loved you. I want to settle down with you someday and raise a family, even._

_I wish I had been brave enough to say it in person and not just have let it slip in a letter. But now that it's out, i'm going to say it all the time._

_I love you._

_Yours forever,  
Jazz_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is long, sorry. There just wasn't really any good breaking point for it. (Like anyone's really mad, right? ;-P)

Vestige spent hours carefully copying each data pad and saving the contents to a separate storage drive and to the archives of the new Hall of Records. There were only a few pads, no more than a dozen in total, but each contained thousands of letters spanning the vorns of the two Autobots' adult lives. Each letter was a valuable document on its own, but the full collection documented Cybertron's descent into war and beyond, making them priceless. No other modern historian had managed to assemble such a detailed account, and she had stumbled on it practically by accident.

She was _not_ going to allow anything to be lost from this collection.

Once everything was copied, saved and backed up, Vestige began on the second phase of her project. Designing a suitable display would be a challenge, but once she had a rough plan idea she was certain that Step-Up and his team would help her refine and build it. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

**_These letters, found in the ruins of the First City, are a candid chronicle of the lives of these two Autobot officers. Starting from their young adulthood, this documentation shows them as more than simply military officers and paints a picture of two mechs living through the downfall of civilization as they knew it and then finding the strength to help build something new in its place._ **

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Dear Prowl,_

_Graduation is coming up soon, and I wanted to make sure you knew so that you can request leave time. Ricochet's already said he'll be out in the field and won't make it, but I'm hoping you can. Dreadwing's is coming up too, but I don't figure you'll manage to get leave for both of us. (And as much as I'd like you to be at mine, he'll be over the moons if you make it to his.) Invitations are in the packet with all the details._

_It looks like my littlest brother has _finally_ settled on a designation for himself too. He'll want to tell you himself, so I'll leave that to him--but i will say that it really fits. We're going to try to have his naming party the same deca-cycle as one of the graduation ceremonies (probably mine, so that Dreadwing can have his moment all to himself) so that you have a better chance at being here for it._

_I've been offered a permanent gig in Triax after graduation. I know it's pretty far from your current post, but the pay's good and the studio seems like a decent place. I'm taking an official tour tomorrow (so I'll have seen it by the time you get this) and will make my decision after I've seen it. Blaster is coming with me, so I'll have someone to discuss it with in real time before I make my final call._

_How are things where you are? Did you land that promotion you were trying for? I've heard stories about protests and unrest out there in Perihex and I hope you're safe._

_I love you._

_Yours forever,  
Jazz_

_Hi Big Brother!_

_I have exciting news for you! I made Jazz promise not to tell, because I know sometimes you read his letters first and I didn't want him to ruin it._

_I finally picked my name! It took forever and it was hard to find one that fits right, but I finally did. Lightwing and Jazz say it's perfect and Silver says she can't think of one that would have been better._

_We're having my naming party the same time Jazz graduates from the music academy so I hope you can come. It'll be great to see you!_

_Hope you're having a great day!_

_Your Little Brother,  
Blurr_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Little Brother,_

_Blurr is a perfect name for you. Your upgrades are not even finished and you already move faster than my optical sensors can perceive, except as a blur of color. Will you be receiving a new paint job to go with your new name?_

_I am sorry, Little Brother, but I may be unable to make it to Jazz's graduation or your party. Things are happening here in Perihex that might become dangerous very quickly and I may not be able to get away. I hope that this is not the case, but it may be unavoidable._

_Today was a good day. Our department acquired a new tactician named Skids and I received letters from you and Jazz, and a video file from Dreadwing. I hope tomorrow is as good._

_I will come home again as soon as I can._

_Your Big Brother,  
Prowl_

_Dearest Jazz,_

_It doesn't seem like you've been at the academy long enough to be graduating. These past two vorns have gone by too quickly. Honestly, it seems too soon for Dreadwing as well; I sometimes still think of him as the tiny Seekerlet who was frightened away by my sensory wings during our first meeting._

_I'm afraid that it is highly unlikely that I will be able to attend either graduation or Blurr's naming party. The unrest you mentioned is growing angrier by the solar cycle. The base commander fears an outbreak of violence at any time and has suspended all leave until further notice. It is not a good time to be present in any of the Hexes, but of course we do not have the luxury of leaving as members of the Guard. I am not afraid for my own safety, as the tactical center is isolated and only one of us is typically required on the field but many of the friends I have made since coming here will be in danger on the streets._

_I hope that there will be a peaceful solution, but I am realistic as well. We will likely be putting down riots before this deca-cycle is over._

_Currently, Ricochet is safe. He is experiencing the luxury of an official posting and is enjoying a "vacation" on the banks of the Rust Sea._

_Jazz, I must ask that you do not take the job in Triax. It is close to Kaon, which seems to be the origin of this unrest. I fear it will soon become infected with their discontent, and the citizens there may turn to violence as easily as those here. I do not believe that high pay is worth the sacrifice of your physical well-being, and I hope you will find something closer to the safety of Praxus or Iacon._

_The thought of losing you makes my spark ache._

_Whatever you choose, please be safe. All my love._

_Yours always,  
Prowl_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_My wonderful Prowl,_

_You were very right about unrest in Triax. I've never seen a group of unhappier mechs. I probably would have turned down the job based on that alone, but the recording studio was a seriously messed up place. It's run by a mech named Swindle, and if that isn't enough to make a sane bot walk away, then the writers who can't leave their desks and the singers locked in the sound booths until they made a hit track were. Hatchlings with dreams of fame and no common sense are probably easy prey for him, but Blaster and I knew to be looking out for shady mechs like Swindle. We got out of there and reported him to the enforcers as fast as we could._

_After talking it over with one of the production students, Blaster and I have decided to start our own recording studio. It'll be a risk, especially at first, but we'll have full creative freedom and the safety of an office in Praxus. We'll have a three-way partnership with Render and will start recording as soon as we have our equipment together. We've even got financial backers already, who are helping us pay for the studio and the sound board._

_I saw the riots on the news a little while ago. I'm grateful that you're not out in it, but it made me sick to see so much senseless violence and pain. I know a lot of people are suffering under the new Prime, but I can't help but think there has to be a better way to get his attention than this._

_Is there any truth to the rumor the news outlets are spreading that says the Guard is pulling back from Protihex and Perihex? I can't say I want the cities to burn, but I am hoping you'll be getting a safer posting soon._

_Wouldn't mind you being closer to home either. I miss your face and your voice, and even that little twitch your left wing gives when I've done something that annoys you. Maybe if things cool down (I know, it's not likely but a mech can dream) I can come visit you for a change instead._

_Love you, Prowl. More than I can find words to say._

_Yours forever,  
Jazz_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Dearest Jazz,_

_I am glad that you chose to turn down the job in Triax. It puts my spark and processor at ease knowing you will not be trapped there, either in the case of violence or one of Swindle's contracts. He is well known for slave-like terms and for using his performers as agents to carry out illegal deals to keep his own hands clean. I fear for any other young musicians he may entangle if the local Enforcers do not take your report seriously, but I am grateful that you are not one of them._

_Going into business for yourselves is an excellent plan, I think. You and Blaster are talented enough to bring in a great many sales, and you are going to go far. I hope that your production student friend is talented enough to keep up. It is excellent to hear that you already have some patrons, but I must suggest trying to find a few additional investors just to be certain you have the necessary capital to finance your early work. You should speak with my sire about it; Shooting Star has a great deal of experience in starting new business ventures._

_The riots were not as bad as the news footage made them out to be. The ground teams subdued the violence quickly and no lives were lost--this time. I am afraid we will see more of them before the vorn is over._

_I cannot give you a solid answer as to whether we will be pulling back or not. I would like to indulge your sense of adventure by telling you it was classified, but the truth is that I simply do not know. The rumors are all they are, at this moment._

_Once things calm down, I would greatly enjoy a visit from you. I miss hearing your voice and your laugh, or seeing that little pout you give me when I tease you about singing in public. Perihex has an excellent dance theater, as well, and I think you would enjoy the performances there._

_One way or another, I hope to see you soon. I love you._

_Yours always,  
Prowl_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Dear Prowl,_

_We spoke with your sire like you suggested, and he had some great ideas to help on the business side of the studio. We'll have enough production capital by the end of the deca-cycle for Blaster and I to each record and distribute a limited run track. (That's where we send it to a few entertainment stations and sales outlets that we choose, sort of like a test sales model.) Shooting Star thinks it'll be a good test to see if our styles have broad appeal or if we'll need to focus on "niche" markets. We're_

_Oh Primus. Zeta Prime's been assassinated. Blaster came in and turned on the news and there it was. They shot out his spark during that speech in Tyger Pax he was giving today.  
I knew a lot of mechs were unhappy with him and the laws he was passing down, but I never thought anyone would just murder him like this. I saw the replay right there on the vid screen, and I still can't believe it happened. What do we do now?_

_I wasn't scared before, not for myself anyway, but I am now. If people are so unhappy that they think murdering our leader is the best option, what's going to happen to the average citizens?_

_Be careful out there, Prowl. I don't know if anyone is safe anymore._

_I love you.  
Jazz_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_My dearest Jazz,_

_Your fears are not unfounded, but I hope you can rest easier knowing that Praxus most often remains stable during tumultuous times. Historically, it is the safest city on Cybertron during unrest or war. You will be all right._

_As for Cybertron, we will do what we have always done. We will survive, and hope that our next leader is better._

_The Senate is in the process of choosing the new Prime as we speak, though the candidates are being kept highly secret to prevent additional assassination attempts. The senate and the candidates are in a secure facility overseen by the Guard. Our leaders will be safe until the new Prime is chosen._

_Once the choice is made, I hope that some of the unrest dies down. If it does not, I fear that the violence may escalate into a civil war._

_Take care of yourself and our families. I love you._

_Yours always,  
Prowl_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Dear Prowl,_

_Thanks for being reasonable and comforting when I was falling apart. A lot of that was shock, but what you said helped. I did some research after I read your letter, and I found some old shelters that the city has been keeping maintained since the end of the Reptile Invasions. Seems crazy that they've been sitting here "just in case" for so long, but they have. I made sure everyone knew to head into the closest one if things do get bad despite Praxus' reputation, and I've recharged better since._

_It's good to know that the Senate isn't waiting around on choosing a new Prime. Wish they had made an announcement about it, though. Mechs are getting nervous, since they don't know what's going on. Don't think I'd be any different, if you hadn't told me. It's scary not having a leader, when we might be gearing up for a civil war._

_Have you heard about any progress, as far as choosing the Prime goes? Have they even narrowed the candidate pool?_

_I hope you're still safe, Prowl. The riots look like they're getting worse by the cycle._

_Be careful out there. I love you._

_Yours forever,  
Jazz _

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Jazz,_

_I don't have much time to write, but I wanted to be sure you know. The new Prime has been chosen and will probably have been announced to the public by the time you get this. His first order as Prime was to pull the Guard out of Perihex and Protihex completely and to begin a staggered withdrawal from Polihex. Ricochet and I will both be on our way to Iacon in about three groons. I will send you updated contact information once I arrive._

_I love you.  
Prowl _

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Dear Jazz,_

_Please forgive the brevity of my last letter. I'm sure it did little more than worry you, when I intended to reassure._

_I am fine, and so is Ricochet. Dreadwing was completely unaffected by the previous movements, as his wing was on flight patrol over Yuss. (Training maneuvers, more than a real patrol. There is little the Decepticon rebels could want or use in Yuss or the surrounding region.)_

_You have likely heard by now that the discontent in Kaon have chosen that name for themselves, and Decepticon is a political affiliation many others have latched onto quickly. Sentinel Prime is attempting to deal with them as equal to the Senate, and has voluntarily turned over control of Kaon, the Hexes and Vos to their leaders (a former gladiator named Megatron and Starscream, the youngest Winglord of Vos) in an attempt to establish peace. It is a plan that I do not believe will work, but the Prime dismissed my concerns. I have a small amount of hope that he is right, but I am preparing myself and the mechs under my command for the worst._

_That is something else I didn't have time to tell you; when we received our orders to move out of Perihex, I also received notification that I was being promoted again. I am now the unit commander for my tactical department and a squad of front line troops. We're considered an elite unit, though I'm uncertain if that is because our two specialties are so different or because my frontliners are that effective. My mechs have merged into a cohesive unit more quickly than I had thought possible, and I am greatly enjoying working with them despite my fears of oncoming war._

_I think you would like my new comrades. Sideswipe enjoys planning and hosting parties, and has a lively personality to match yours. His twin, Sunstreaker, is an artist who paints and sculpts in his off duty hours. Hound is an easy going mech from a small town on the outskirts of Ankmor Park, who can make friends with anyone and enjoys spending time outdoors. Chromia is our wise old femme, and the first I have worked with in a professional capacity. She really is as old as I make her sound (she graduated from the Kaon Martial Academy in its first class) and has been an excellent second in command and mentor, despite being strangely resistant to further promotions. The front line squad is rounded out by Deluge, a fierce fighter who is deeply committed to being the best warrior the Guard has to offer. We also gained another tactician, a mech named Flak who is training to be the unit coordinator for a division that is being assembled to put down terrorist cells._

_It is interesting to work with such a diverse group, but it is taking time to adjust to being in command._

_Even as a unit commander, though, I still get leave time and I am hoping that I can leave the squad in Chromia's capable hands and come home soon. I want to see the studio and finally meet Blaster in person, as well as seeing you and our families._

_I hope your recording is going well. I am eager to hear your first production (and so is Trailbreaker). Is Blaster's style significantly different from yours? I am quite curious, and will likely purchase his first release as well unless it is something you know I will dislike._

_As much as I would like to continue, Chromia has reminded me of a meeting I cannot miss and I must go. Give Blurr and my creators hugs for me. I love you._

_Yours always,  
Prowl _


	4. Chapter 4

_Dear Big Brother,_

_Jazz says we're going to come see you later this meta-cycle! He says that since you're in Iacon now, it's safe enough to travel and since Praxus isn't far then we can drive over. I'm really excited; this will be my first real trip anywhere with my new alternate mode._

_I can't wait to show it to you. I'm formatted as an ultra high speed racer, and I'm joining the professional racing team to compete on the Ibex tracks after the trip. I'm even already painted and detailed with the Praxus Sprinters' team colors (blue and black). I'll be an occasional racer until my graduation at the end of the educational term, and then I'll be a full time racer with the Sprinters. I can't wait to get started!_

_Do you think you might be able to make it to my graduation? It's three meta-cycles away, and with us coming to see you, you might be able to save up some of your leave time. If you can, I'd really like it. My friends all want to meet you, too (though I’m not sure they'll think you're as great as I do)._

_I hope things are calmer now that you're back in Iacon. I can't wait to meet your new troops; Sideswipe sounds like lots of fun and it will be great to see Trailbreaker again._

_I have to head for practice now. Road Warrior wants to see how I do in a longer track race today._

_See you soon!_

_Your brother,  
Blurr_

_Dear Prowl,_

_You'll be glad to know that I did not panic when I got your last letter. My carrier had a bit of a fit but I knew you were okay if you had a klik to send a note. I would have been worried if you hadn't, though, so thanks for doing it._

_Promoted again? Careful my mech, or you'll find yourself as Prime one of these days._

_Seriously, though, I'm so proud of how far you've gone. You're one amazing bot, and it shows every time they hand you a new rank badge. And, if you ever did become Prime, you'll be one I'll be happy to follow._

_Can't wait to meet this new unit of yours. They sound like an interesting bunch (though I bet Sideswipe makes you fritz sometimes). How's their taste in music?_

_Speaking of music! My first single releases at the end of this deca-cycle. It'll be limited run, but since you're back in Iacon, you won't have any trouble picking it up. Just swing by Culture Shock and pick up a copy from Shortlist. And in answer to your question, Blaster's music is as different from mine as turbo foxes and gyro falcons. I don't know if it's your style, honestly, but I love it. Just don't play it in the tactical office; Blaster gets a little loud. His single will release a deca-cycle after mine, though, so you can decide for yourself._

_Did Blurr tell you about his new job? He's racing with the Sprinters now, and loving every klik. His first big race is at Ibex on the thirtieth off-cycle, right after our trip to Iacon. He's on term break until the next work cycle begins, so it was the best time for him to get started._

_We're coming to see you on the twenty sixth, and we'll stay on through the twenty ninth. We have to be in Ibex by mid-cycle on the thirtieth, so we'll be heading out as soon as the day lamps activate. It's not as long as we want to stay, but Blurr's future is too important to mess up. If he makes it as a racer (and he will, no doubt in my processor about it) then he'll never have to worry about being poor again._

_I figure you'll have to work for at least part of our vacation, so we're planning on dragging Blaster along to see some of the sights he missed while we were in school. I hope you don't mind; I didn't have the spark to say no when he asked if he could come. (And he really wants to meet you in person, too.) Any suggestions for where we should take him that I may not know about? Or for places to take Blurr, even? I explored a lot while I was at school, but I know I didn't have the time to see everything._

_And if Ricochet’s still in Iacon, tell him we want to see him while we're there. My last letter to him was returned as undeliverable, so I'm pretty sure he's changed posts again, but I figured you'd know where he was if anyone did._

_Right, have to take Lightwing to a therapist appointment (more on that later) so I have to go._

_Love you. See you soon._

_Yours forever,  
Jazz _

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Dearest Jazz,_

_I am glad I did not worry you, but I apologize for upsetting Lightwing. I forget, sometimes, how fragile she has gotten. It was good to hear that she is receiving treatment for her psychological health; I had been worried about her depressive fits._

_You may assure your carrier (and yourself) that Ricochet is simply on a classified mission and will be back in Iacon soon. His team departed with little preparation time and it is likely that he forgot to tell you he would be unavailable. His unit commander and I speak regularly, so I can pass on any vid files or letters for immediate delivery when he returns if you like. Hopefully he will be back by the time you and Blurr visit; I know he wants to see you as much as I do._

_In that same vein, Dreadwing should be attached to the flight wing in Gygax by the time Blurr has his race debut. It is close enough for him to get a day pass to attend, if you were to invite him now. Otherwise, it may be the new vorn again before he has a chance to get away._

_I am glad your music will be so easy for me to acquire. I cannot help but feel like having it here will be like having a small piece of you with me. (Go ahead and tease. I am quite aware of how sappy that sounds.)_

_I cannot wait to see you. While I am rarely alone here in Iacon, it is lonely without you._

_Of course it is all right if you bring Blaster. I feel certain that he is wise enough to leave us privacy when we want it, and that he will keep an optic on Blurr when one of us is not around. There is currently a traveling dance company who will be stopping for four performances while you are in Iacon. Also, the art museum has finished its renovations finally, and the Music Academy is hosting a festival to encourage new enrollment. There are also several other cultural events that you would likely accuse of being dull, though I have it on excellent authority that Fable's play "The Empty Sparks" is an excellent blending of drama and horror that you might enjoy. This is hardly an extensive list, but I'm certain we can find more to do once I have a bit more time to research. (Or you could plan your holiday the way you usually do, and go wherever sounds like the best party.)_

_I love you, and I cannot wait to see you. Give Lightwing my love._

_Yours always,  
Prowl_

 

_Dear Blurr,_

_Congratulations! The Sprinters are an excellent team with a good manager. You are going to do very well with them, and go a very long way._

_I think I am as excited to see you as you are to come visit me. Jazz has asked me to make plans for things to do while you're here, and I will make certain to include things that interest you. Perhaps a trip to the Iacon race tracks? That would give you a chance to observe your competition, but still be an enjoyable evening. Please, let me know what you think._

_Since you and Jazz are coming to see me, I will need to use at least one cycle of personal leave to spend with you, but it shouldn't be hard to take two or three to come to your graduation. Things are much calmer (for the moment) now that the Decepticons have been given some of what they want. I will be looking forward to meeting your friends and seeing you receive the graduation certificate you worked so hard for. Though, I confess that I will miss you making late night calls to my private comm for help with your studies. It was always nice to be needed for something so very normal._

_Be safe during your practices, little brother. Save your injuries for actual racing._

_Your brother,  
Prowl_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: if you're not following me on Tumblr, you might consider it. Over there, I talk about how to get access to Bonus Content and a fic that will not be posted to the public.
> 
> eerian-sadow.tumblr.com


	5. Chapter 5

Vestige stepped into the Construction Team's office clutching the data pad containing her design. She was a bit nervous about discussing her project with anyone who wasn't Lancer, though that had more to do with the masters students and their tendency to steal the underclassmech's projects than distrust of Step-Up and his team.

"Vestige, right on time!" Step-Up's second, Crawlway, gave her a bright smile. "The boss is running late thanks to that accident in the Engineering lab this morning, but he said we can start without him."

"Oh, okay." She hadn't heard about an accident in the Engineering lab, but given the current guest lecturer's reputation, she couldn't say she was terribly surprised. "Do you have a light display that we can put the plans up on? It makes more sense in three dimensions."

"Sure, sure," the Constructicon gestured her toward the work room. "It's back here, and there are no windows for the industrial spies to peek through."

Vestige ducked her head, surprised by how perceptive the older mech was. "Thanks."

"Anytime. I know how cruel the older students can be to you younger bots. You can count on us to keep your project display safe."

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_**It seems extraordinary to me, in hindsight, that these two mechanisms could have ever been forgotten.** _

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Dearest Prowl,_

_Right now, I am so grateful that we had those few cycles together before... all this. Blaster and I went back to Praxus like we told you we would, and it's nothing but devastation. There's nothing left, not even from the Wild Gardens. Every time I shutter my optics, all i see is death and destruction, but remembering the good times we were able to have helps keep the worst thoughts at bay._

_I tried to find our family, but the bunker closest to our creators' house was empty when the search and rescue crew dug it out. We're working our way slowly through the others that were marked on the maps that I studied, so I haven't lost hope yet, but the search team says their chances aren't good._

_Our houses are gone. There's nothing left there but a crater from a bomb strike. I know I'm in shock from all of this, because all I can think of when I think about the houses is that my favorite guitar was in my berthroom and now it's gone._

_I can't... I don't know how to tell Blurr about our family. Can you tell him that they're still missing and that we're still looking? I know he'll take it as well from you as he will from anyone._

_Tomorrow, Blaster and I will be moving closer to the center of the city. The next bunker we'll be checking will be close to Lightwing's therapist, so it seems as likely a place as any to find them. I'll know what we find before you get this, but it helps my processor to write it out this way. I'll write again when I know more._

_I'm so tired already Prowl. I hope things are better for you there in Iacon._

_Give Blurr a hug for me, and send Ricochet and Dreadwing my love if you talk to them. We're going to need each other to get through this._

_All my love,  
Jazz_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Beloved Jazz,_

_I hold out hope that our families will be in the miraculous minority of survivors, though I confess that I am not surprised that you and Blaster have had no luck in locating them. The official reports are not optimistic._

_We are struggling through as well as we can here in Iacon. Many of us had friends and family in Praxus, and we are all grieving together. Dreadwing's unit has been recalled and I will break any news you send as gently as I can. Blurr... Blurr is taking things as badly as you anticipated._

_Like you, I am grateful for the moments of happiness we had before this. The memories and your love help me as much as they do you._

_When you return, we will commission a new guitar. You, perhaps more than all the rest of us, will need your music to get through what's coming._

_Be safe, my love. Rest when you need it. You are not our family's only hope._

_All my love,  
Prowl_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

**_The data pad chronicling the fall of Praxus was heavily damaged and, while the files were mostly intact, at least two of the letters seem to have been lost. There was also some damage to the file structure and the text had to be reconstructed manually. As a result, a few letters do not appear in their original handwriting the way the rest of the set does._ **


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BRING TISSUES, FOR REAL
> 
> Sorry this is late, everyone! I was getting ready for TF Expo the day it should have posted and it slipped my mind. Hopefully, it's worth the wait.

_Dearest Jazz,_

_It seems that we have received news before you in Iacon for a change. A pocket of survivors was found in the Old Garden District, one of them Freeway. I know that this wasn't the news that you wanted to hear, but I felt that at least knowing he was alive was ...something. As angry as i likely always will be with him, I never wished him dead. Dreadwing does not share my sentiment, and Blurr is strangely uncaring about the information. Perhaps they both understood more than we believed when he left you all behind._

_He is being transported to Iacon medical and will be there for at least a meta-cycle, if you decide that you want to come back and see him._

_Blurr is still not doing well. He is working with our grief therapist, but I don't know that anything will help him until we have solid information on what has happened to the rest of our family._

_Jazz, my love, I think it might be for the best for you to come back to Iacon. There is little more that you can do that the recovery teams cannot do as well. And... I need you. My ability to endure has been pushed beyond its limits, and I feel like I'm going to break any moment._

_Perhaps. No. Tomorrow I WILL make time to call the recovery center and speak to you. I need to hear your voice, if nothing else._

_I love you. I'll talk to you soon.  
Prowl_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Prowl,_

_Oh Prowl, I wish you had called today. I need you so much right now._

_We found Lightwing in the market district just after dawn. She was still carrying a shopping basket and one of those little light statues that Silver likes so much. The team medic says he doesn't think she even knew what happened before... before she died. He said there weren't any signs that she suffered, and I guess that's all I could have asked for, right?_

_Oh, Primus, Prowl. How do I tell I tell my brothers that our carrier is gone?_

_I... don't know what to do, Prowl. Blaster says that we should bring her back to Iacon and have her interred, but I don't want to leave until we know what happened to Silverlight and Shooting Star. But I also want to come back and just curl up in your arms._

_I know I can't call you at the base, but I need to hear your voice again. If you can call here again, it'd help._

_I have to go now. Blaster's prodding me into a berth so I can recharge. Not that I think I can, but if I don't try he'll get First Aid to sedate me._

_I love you.  
Jazz _

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Dear Prowl,_

_It's another day here in Praxus with no progress for us. We finally moved into the financial district today, and if Shooting Star was in his office the odds aren't good that we'll ever find him. There's so much damage; parts of the district are nothing but ash and crystal dust. Those of us without the search and rescue mods have had to install filters in all our air vents, and it still hasn't been enough to keep some bots from overheating because they can't cycle._

_I think we've all moved past the anger and the grief now. We're just... mostly numb. I know, somewhere in the back of my mind, that I'll lose it again if we find your parents or when we hold the memorial for my carrier, but right now there's just nothing._

_There's an engineer volunteering with my team right now, and he and Blaster hit it off pretty well. His name's Wheeljack, and he thinks maybe we can use some of the cargo shuttles to move debris out of the city to help locate survivors more quickly. The rescue teams didn't argue; I think they've all come to the conclusion that there's nobot left here to find alive._

_If I'm honest, I'm beginning to think that too._

_I think you're right and we should come home sooner than later, even if It doesn't feel right to be leaving here with my creator and not even one of yours. If we stay too much longer, this place will break us._

_Tell me about the base, Prowl. Or about my brothers. Or even Sunstreaker and his inability to deal with scratched paint. Tell me about some kind of life, and remind me that there's more than all this death._

_I love you. I'll see you soon._

_Yours,  
Jazz _

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Dear Jazz,_

_Brother, I am going to be direct with you: come back to Iacon._

_If you won’t do it for yourself--and given the tone of your last few letters, i doubt you will--then do it for Prowl. The grief is hard enough on him, but worrying about you is compounding all his stress. He needs you, and strange as it is to say it, so do I._

_So, stop being an idiot and come back to you family._

_With love and irritation  
Ricochet_

 

_Dearest Jazz,_

_I know you want to hear about life here at the base and beyond, and I will tell you about it, but first I have news. After consulting with several psychologists, command has finally decided to send additional search and recovery units to Praxus. Within the next ten cycles, they will arrive and begin replacing the search teams on the ground. There will be new optics and new talent on the ground, and the current staff can come back to Iacon to rest and recover. As a volunteer, I know that you are not subjected to these orders, but it is my deepest hope that you will come with them._

_It is time to let the dead rest and return to the living._

_Life continues at the base in much the manner I have become accustomed. Currently, Sideswipe is calm and resisting the urge to engage in practical jokes to remove--and I quote--the grouchiest faces this side of Unicron. I do not expect this to last, and it will likely be a welcome relief when he shakes things up finally. I am hardly the only officer so strained by events in Praxus._

_Sunstreaker has taken up painting, and is surprisingly good already. He clearly has spark-born talent and will have a thriving career if… well, in the future. He always has a new piece on display in the commissary lately, and it has been uplifting to see the works he has decided to share. This is likely the point of his endeavors, as he is always terribly embarrassed when anyone compliments them._

_Blurr has started talking to people outside of our family again, something i was beginning to fear would never happen. It started with Sideswipe, over a silly debate over which racing team was better--Blurr, of course, sided against Sideswipe’s favorite simply because they were the Sprinters’ long time rivals--but it has helped him immensely. He has also found a friend in a former racer from Perihex named Downshift and the two of them have been training together during Downshift’s off time. I see less of him now because of this, but it has clearly been good for our brother._

_Ricochet is stationed back in Iacon. He thinks that we haven’t noticed how relieved he was to see all of us here, but even Dreadwing let your twin hug him and you know how your middle brother is about touching people. He asked about you, of course, and seemed irritated when I said that I wasn’t sure when you were coming back. I do not know if that irritation was directed at you or at me. Perhaps, it was at both of us; he always has treated us as a single unit._

_Dreadwing is, as always, Dreadwing. He rarely talks to any of us unless there is something important to say--though he has been going out of his way to spend extra time with both Blurr and Ricochet. I anticipate the same treatment if he is still stationed in Iacon when you return, so be prepared. He has applied for a special squadron, one that I cannot divulge any details about, but his chances of winning a spot in the the unit are good and he may be gone again before you see him. I won’t lie and say that I don’t want to keep him close, but I also don’t want to clip his wings or deny him an opportunity to move forward in his career._

_As for myself, the Prime is speaking in whispers of officer promotions and the rumors say that I’m being tapped for a new tactical unit. I will have no few regrets if this is true; I don’t want to leave this unit that Chromia and I have somehow managed to make work despite the vast differences in our troops. They have come to be as much a part of my family as you and your brothers. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker are especially dear to me, perhaps because they remind me so very much of you and Ricochet. Aloud, Chromia says that i’m being foolish, but when she thinks I’m not looking, she also seems unhappy about it._

_If I am truthful, I am afraid that another promotion will take me farther from you than I already am. Iacon has always been too far away from you, unless you were here too. I admit that I grew… spoiled during our time before you left for Praxus. I seem to be happiest when I wake up next to you in the morning._

_My Jazz, I love you so much. I hope to see you soon._

_Yours always,  
Prowl_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Rico,_

_I’m coming back soon, I swear. Next shuttle we can catch._

_We found what was left of our music studio last night, along with our partner. And then we found Silver and Shooting Star, and a sparkling who’s just barely still online. We found everyone we came for, and now there’s nothing left._

_Primus below, there’s nothing left._

_Get Prowl to let you read over his shoulder if you want details. I’m not going to be able to talk about this all more than once._

_See you soon, brother. Love you.  
Jazz_

 

_Dearest Prowl,_

_Primus, I have so much to say and no idea how to say it all. I guess I’ll start with the good news, because that gives me the best lead-in but there’s no part of this that’s easy to tell._

_Last night we found a survivor, the only one we’ve found since Day 2. He’s just a sparkling, probably in his third or fourth upgrade, but he’s alive. Said he thought I looked like Primus before he fell offline, and he hasn’t woken up since. I hope that means Primus was watching and this youngling wakes up again, if only to prove that I’m not him._

_We found him in the bunker down the street from the recording studio. Your creators must have been visiting to check up on some of the financial elements, because they were there too. I’m so sorry, Prowl. They didn’t make it. Shooting Star had been trying to dig a way out of the bunker for them before he went into emergency stasis, and Silver was holding the sparkling and giving him fuel from her own lines so that he would survive. They must have had some emergency cubes on them, to have made it as long as they did._

_I’m so sorry. If Blaster and I had tried harder to get the teams to search the art district sooner, they’d still be here._

_Blaster and I are bringing all of our parents to Iacon on the next shuttle out of Praxus. I thought maybe we could inter them all together someplace nice, since they were practically a Trine there at the end. Someplace that’s not Vos, though; Lightwing never wanted to go back there._

_Primus, Prowl, I’m sorry. I should have tried harder._

_I’ll see you soon._

_Yours,  
Jazz_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Beloved Jazz,_

_Do not punish yourself. In a city of one hundred thousand mechanisms, finding a specific three was incredibly difficult. You found them, and we will be able to lay them to rest properly._

_Ricochet and I are already looking for a tomb large enough for a Trine._

_You survived, love. You and your brothers and I are still here, and that is enough to begin moving forward again._

_I will see you soon._

_I love you.  
Prowl_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you enjoying what I'm doing? For more, come visit me on tumblr or Dreamwidth for Q&A, ficbits that won't be posted here and instructions for how to get access to other exclusive content!
> 
> eerian-sadow.tumblr.com  
> eerian-sadow.dreamwidth.org
> 
> and you can chat anytime on twitter!  
> @eerian_sadow


	7. Chapter 7

Vestige stepped into the gallery hall nervously, torn between desperately wanting to see what the construction team had assembled for her and afraid they had gotten it all wrong. She knew the anxiety was unfounded--Step Up and his team hadn't gone wrong with a project any time during her school term--but she still couldn't shake the feeling.

"Vestige, come see what we've put together!" The team leader stepped out from behind a curtain and grinned at her, almost as if she had summoned him just by thinking about him. "I think you're going to be really pleased."

"I hope so." She stepped toward the meh, and he held the curtain back so that she could enter the workspace.

Step Up pointed to a curving wall in front of them. "This is where your guests will start, we just need to install the holo projectors as soon as they come in. Then they'll follow the curve around through all the pre-war stuff. Our initial design was too long for the space Professor Lancer allotted to us, so we shortened the walls by a few meters and added in more curves to guide they guests through the display. Walk with me and I'll show you."

"Okay." The history student nodded and followed the construction mech into the display that would house her graduation project.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Dearest Prowl,_

_We made it to the refugee camp in Bitrex safely. I dropped Blurr off at the shelter and reported to the CO and got started with that new gig the Commander sent me out for. But you already knew that, since I know you have the progress reports._

_I’m wishing an awful lot that I was back in Iacon with you, despite how awful basic training was. Bitrex is nothing but a hole in the wall with nothing to do when I’m not training for that new position. I’d take one of Commander Ironhide’s long drills again, if it meant I could go catch a concert or something in my off time._

_And Blurr isn’t taking things any better. He only had a few days worth of schooling left, but the educators are making him retake almost everything, and you can imagine how that’s going. And he’s the oldest one in the school here, which means he’s not making friends either. I hate that he’s being treated this way, but since he’s legally an adult now, they don’t listen to much of what I say anymore. I don’t have any idea how to help him._

_Let me know if you think of something, will you?_

_Blurr isn’t my only worry right now, either. Dreadwing’s unhappy, and not just in a “i hate my job” way. He’s been talking politics and protest and full on rebellion against the Senate and the Prime. We already knew the Decepticons had started courting fliers, but this is hitting a little too close to home. I’m honestly afraid we’re going to lose him._

_I wish we could all just jump on one of the colony ships and run away from all this. Though you and Blurr would probably hate that, and Dreadwing wouldn’t be much better off. It’s just a fantasy, anyway. There probably won't be more than one or two more ships that make it off Cybertron before the Decepticons do something about it._

_But mech, what about you? You’ve been doing great work back in Iacon! Commander Highbrow let me look over some of what’s going on, and seeing you in action is something else. The commander thinks you’re on the fast track to High Command if this is how you always perform._

_Gotta admit, though, watching that video made me miss you a lot more. Can’t wait til I’m back in Iacon with you._

_Love you,  
Jazz_

 

_Dear Prowl,_

_I hate it here, and I want to come back to Iacon. Everything about this refugee camp is stupid, especially since most of us were already safe in Iacon when they made us move._

_The school is the worst. I'm the oldest, and none of the others are more than half my age. The teacher (that's right, just one for all fifty of us!) treats me like I'm a sparkling, not an almost graduate and he's making me retake all of my final year courses like Praxus didn't follow the standard education schedule. Jazz tried to get him to let me test out so that I could try to get a job or something, but the hypocrite said I was too old for my brother to keep speaking for me._

_And I hate how there's nothing to do here. The actual sparklings don't have toys and they aren't allowed to play outside. There are two of us who are racers (Breaklight ran semi-pro for the Windriders) and we aren't allowed to drive. Quiet joors go into effect so early that Jazz can't even play that guitar you bought him after his shift. I keep talking to the camp manager, trying to get them to relax the rules and let us race and stay out and socialize, but they keep telling me I'm too young to know what I'm talking about._

_I always thought being told was too young to understand made me mad when I really was too young, but I'm furious now. This isn't a camp and it isn't a place for us Praxians to begin rebuilding our lives. It's a prison._

_And all that isn't even the worst, even though it sounds like it should be. Dreadwing isn't talking to us, even if we call him first. I mean, he says hello and asks how we're doing but he's not talking to us. We don't know anything new about his wingmates or his latest posting or anything. Sometimes he'll mention Vos in passing or the gladiators in Kaon, which makes me worry, but that's the most he's talked about since Jazz went into basic training. I'm a little afraid that he's going to leave and join the Decepticons. And then I wonder how he could even think about doing that, after what they did to our home and our family._

_Everything is such a mess, Prowl. I don't know what to do. Help?_

_Your brother,  
Blurr_

 

_Dear Blurr,_

_I don't have much time to write, but I wanted to be sure you knew that I had received your letter and that I am working to help you from this side._

_What you have been doing is right, and what you said matches what Commander Highbrow has reported to the Senate. They are not listening, however, so I am going to take your letter and the commander’s reports to the Prime himself._

_No one who survived Praxus was meant to be imprisoned, and I promise that your situation will improve, even if I have to tow Sentinel Prime to Bitrex myself._

_Stay strong, Blurr._

_Your brother,  
Prowl_

 

_Dearest Jazz,_

_After receiving your last set of letters, I went to the Prime on behalf of the surviving Praxians. Blurr’s candid descriptions of the camp and your reports of a lack of entertainment or enrichment seemed to get his attention. Sentinel is planning a surprise trip to Bitrex, with the intent of catching the managers engaging in such a blatant disregard for the rights of the mechanisms in their care. Highbrow likely knows about the trip, but please don't mention it to Blurr or anyone else before he arrives._

_Anything can have audio pickups, as you have learned._

_I am glad that your training is going well. The commander’s reports all speak highly of you and your abilities, and I believe that you may find yourself in the officer track whether you considered it or not. I do not have the clearance to view the recorded footage of your training sessions, but I hear things when the others do not realize I am listening. You are doing very well and I am so proud of you._

_I miss you too, and I am counting the days until you come back to Iacon. Give Blurr a hug for me and I will see you both soon._

_I love you,  
Prowl _

 

_Dear Prowl,_

_I wish you could have been here to see it, when Sentinel Prime laid into the camp managers! He ripped every one of them a new exhaust port before removing them from their posts and replacing them with mechs he brought with him. Then he ripped up the curfew notice in the center of camp and asked for volunteers to help set up new rules to run the camp while he starts the process of moving everyone back to Iacon._

_Did you know that there was never supposed to be a refugee camp out here? The survivors of the assault on Praxus were supposed to be settled in Iacon or Nyon. Prime didn't name names, but some senator overstepped and we all suffered for it. I think Sentinel knows who if was, but he ain't saying._

_Blurr surprised me by saying he wants to stay here until everyone is ready to move back to Iacon. He’s got some good ideas about how to help set up entertainment for everyone, and how to set up a school that’s more suited to the students it has. I was all ready to ask for a special accomodation for him, so that he could get back to you and finish up school and he just went and acted like the adult he turned into when we weren’t looking. I’m so proud of him._

_My special training should be over about the same time the camp is finally broken down, assuming it stays on Sentinel’s estimated timeline. So, roughly six meta-cycles and then we’ll be back together for a little while. And I can’t say I’ll be sad to shake the dust of this place off my feet._

_Oh! I got a comm call from Blaster yesterday, right before Sentinel showed up. He’s out in Yuss, taking classes in communication technology and making friends at the drop of a bolt, the way he always does. He says he’s planning to enlist, once he’s got a usable skill or two. I don’t know if I want him in the army, but it’ll be nice to see his face again._

_Sentinel’s asking me to come play the guitar over dinner, so I guess I’ll wind this up. Hopefully it’s not too out of tune when I get started._

_Love you, Prowl. Talk to you soon._

_Yours, always.  
Jazz_

 

_Dear Big Brother,_

_Sentinel Prime showed up at the camp today! I bet you knew that he was coming and didn’t tell us, too! He knew who Jazz was right away, and asked for me by name! We had a meeting and he really listened to all my ideas and took things seriously. He brought more teachers for the school and fired everyone who was in charge before. I’m not sure how I feel about the new administrators yet, but they haven't yelled at anyone for playing or racing, so it’s a good enough start._

_Jazz asked if I wanted to go back to Iacon with Sentinel when he went back, but I don’t think I do. I want to help everyone else with the things we should have had here before, like a good school and a place for everyone to relax and have fun. I know we’ll all go back to Iacon eventually, because Sentinel told us so, but I don't want to be back there and living in luxury while the rest of Praxus is still living in tents in Bitrex._

_Jazz acted all weird when I said no, like he wanted to hug me and tell me I did a good job the way he did when I was little. I kind of wish he had, if that’s what he wanted to do; I miss things like that sometimes. I didn’t grow out of wanting hugs, even if I am taller than he is now._

_Sentinel says it will be four or six meta-cycles before everything is arranged for us to go back to Iacon. That seems pretty awful, considering that it only took two solar cycles to round everyone up and dump them out here, but I know he’s probably trying to make sure they can’t do this to us or anyone else again. It’s just so stupid. But i guess that’s when we’ll see you again. I hope it’s closer to four meta-cycles than six, though, because I miss you._

_Take care of yourself til then. Love you!_

_Your brother,  
Blurr_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

**The historical record has little evidence for any kind of refugee camp being erected near old Bitrex, but a few other anecdotal tales back up what was written here by Lieutenant Jazz and Commander Prowl. Old stories, passed down orally from Autobot Sergeant Kup are the most common references to this camp and were recorded by one of his students, a career military mech named Hubcap. Other references include recorded comminiques from Autobot communication technician Blaster and a single bill, presented to the old Senate but never voted on.**

**There are likely other references, but like so many things about history before the Great War, they have been lost to time.**


	8. Chapter 8

“Well, what do you think, Professor?” Vestige did her best to hold still and not fidget as Professor Lancer walked with her through the display.

“Step-Up and his team have done their usual fine work, though I find your color choices surprising.” The old femme dragged her fingers along a light tube glowing a pale teal. “They would not have looked out of place in my squad, during the war.”

“I had the Stepped Garden in mind, when I chose them, since that’s where the remaining Praxians settled during the reconstruction.” 

“You chose very well, then.” Lancer turned to Vestige with a smile. “I will have to walk the display and study your documentation in more detail, but a cursory examination merits a passing score. I especially enjoy the way you have everything displayed in the original handwriting when you can. Commander Prowl’s glyph work was always a pleasure to read.”

“Did you know the commander well?” Vestige couldn’t help asking the question, especially since her professor had sounded so fond when she spoke.

“I barely knew him at all.” Lancer shook her head. “We were never stationed together, even during the reconstruction. His position guaranteed that we would all receive orders from him at least once in our career, though.”

“Well, if you have anything you might want to contribute to the display, there’s a space at the end for personal anecdotes. The Winglord volunteered a few stories, and so did the Prime Emeritus.”

“You managed to get a story from Starscream?” The professor blinked in surprise. “Wonders never cease, do they?”

“Well, I did have to promise him a private interview and to publish it where it would be read by the public.” Vestige grinned. “I figured that would be a good first job, after graduation.”

“Or an excellent application to the Masters program.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Dear Prowl,_

_We’re packing up the last of the Bitrex camp today. Everyone but me, Commander Highbrow and a few of the support staff have already left. We’re on clean-up detail, and we’re supposed to make sure there’s no trace left. Especially after some of what came through here while I was training. (I’d give you details if I could, but you know how classified data is.) We’ll ship the remaining furniture back, chairs and tables and the like, and then blow the shelters on our way out tomorrow._

_I should probably take a few image captures for Blurr; he’ll be glad when this place is dust even if things were better at the end._

_The commander says I get a full ten rotational cycles of leave now that training is over, and I’ve gotten so used to being constantly working that I’m not sure what I’ll do with it. Aside from spend what time I can with you, anyway. I’ve been considering a trip to see Blaster, but I have my doubts about how secure traveling that far will be. There’s been an awful lot of flyovers lately._

_I heard from Rico yesterday. He can’t tell me any details, but he’s okay. He had some unflattering things to say about the Rust Sea, alloygators and a minibot named Cliffjumper but he’s doing pretty well otherwise. I think he misses all of us more than he’ll admit, though._

_I HAVEN’T heard from Dreadwing, though. That last comm call right before Sentinel Prime rearranged the camp was the last time we heard anything, and I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t worried. I don’t have the resources to do anything from here, but if you could look into it a little and see what you can find from your end, Blurr and I would appreciate it more than I can say. Just don’t do anything that might get you into trouble to get us information; I can do that myself after I get home._

_You should see Blurr about the time you get this letter. He was a little annoyed that he didn’t get to write to you before he left, but they put him in charge of a group of little bits and they kept him hopping. He’s got the key to our new apartment, but he’ll probably want to stay the night with you. He still doesn’t sleep so well on his own yet. Wish I didn’t understand that feeling._

_I should be back in Iacon in about three days. Hopefully you can wrangle a little bit of free time when I get there and we can go out together for a while. Or stay in together. I wrote a song for you a few days ago and I’d like to play it for you. (In fact, I’m going to attach the sheet music for it right now, so it doesn’t get lost in the shuffle tomorrow.)_

_I love you, Prowl. Can't wait to see your face again._

_Yours always,  
Jazz_

 

_Dearest Jazz,_

_You will, of course, be home in Iacon when this letter reaches you. In fact, I am simply going to deliver it myself, because it seems foolish to waste resources re-routing it from here to Bitrex and back. I simply wanted to write my thoughts out while they were fresh._

_Blurr is here safely, and you were right about him wanting to stay with me until you arrived. His friend Breaklight was also looking for a safe place to stay until his apartment was finished, and I let them both recharge in my guest room. Despite how well they are both doing, they are still suffering from the trauma and it will be a long time healing. Blurr said something over our morning energon about looking for a therapist, and I recommended several that the base has worked with in the past. I think it will be a great help to both of them, and to any of the others who wish to try._

_I would offer the list to you, but I know that Commander Highbrow keeps an excellent therapist on staff in the intelligence office and I feel certain you will visit if you need to._

_I did look into Dreadwing’s silence and I am afraid that the news is not good. His wing was last seen flying over the territory in Protihex that was recently taken by the Decepticon forces. There is not concrete data, but there are only three real possibilities. They were either shot down and killed, shot down and taken prisoner or they have defected. Judging by how you described your last several conversations with him, I believe we both know the most likely outcome._

_I’m sorry, Jazz. The only consolation I can offer is that I will tell you in person before I give you this letter._

_I love you, Jazz. Knowing you are only two days away is still not enough, really. But I will see you soon, and we will have at least one full day together._

_Yours always,  
Prowl_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

**Historical accounts always give the sense of the war moving rapidly from one disaster to another, and in many ways it did. However, the letters between Commanders Prowl and Jazz show a slower movement of time and allow us to see what happened during the disasters in more detail. We are allowed a look into the emotional impact of the war and its key events, and we are allowed to see some events that are rarely mentioned in any historical text. The defection of multiple squadrons of flying soldiers, for example, is glossed over or not mentioned at all despite the fact that it often pitted family members against each other.**

**At this point, Dreadwing falls out of the historical narrative aside from passing mention in a few other letters. However, an interview with the Winglord Starscream revealed that he did survive the Great War. What became of him after the Quintesson Invasion is a mystery.**

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Hey Prowl!_

_Just a quick note to let you know I’ll be out of touch when you get back from training camp. I’m finally cleared for field work and Commander Highbrow is sending me out before Rung can change his mind on my psych eval. I’ll be gone for at least twenty days, but possibly a full meta-cycle. I’ll write if it’s safe._

_Love you,  
Jazz_

 

_Jazz,_

_It seems that we will miss each other when you return from the field, as I am being sent to the top secret facility to train their tactical team in the new methods we have been using in Iacon. I will be gone for six meta-cycles, though you can at least send letters or call once you return. Blurr has the key to my quarters and is supposed to visit daily to feed my crystals._

_I love you, and I will see you soon._

_Yours,  
Prowl_

_Big brother,_

_Of course I’m feeding your crystals! I said I would, didn’t I? The big blue one looks like it’s about to sprout a new growth on the side, though. Not sure what to do with that. Also, should I be looking for any special nutrients in the shops when I’m out? I know you said the basic mix would be fine, but I want them to do really well while you’re gone._

_And would it be okay if I brought along one of the Praxian younglings I’ve been mentoring? He seems really interested in growing crystals and I think it would help him a lot._

_Love,  
Your little brother_

_PS: Don’t leave your letters to Jazz out where I can read them. I’m old enough that I don’t want to know anymore._

 

_Blurr,_

_If you weren’t using my computer station without permission, you would not see letters that were not meant for you._

_I have attached instructions for what to do with the blue crystal if it is achieving new growths. No, there are no special nutrients you need to use on these crystals; they were picked specifically because they thrive on very little._

_Yes, you may bring your mentee with you as you care for them. Crystal cultivation is knowledge that should not be lost, and I fear it may be if it is not specifically encouraged. Thank you for asking and not assuming._

_Stay off my computer._

_I love you and will call you soon._

_Your brother,  
Prowl_


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Author’s Note: This chapter time-skips forward a bit. Not because you all wouldn’t enjoy more of the letters back and forth between Jazz, Prowl and sometimes Blurr and Ricochet, but because the story is never going to be finished if I write a million year’s worth of letters. That’s a heckin’ lot of letters._

_Dear Prowl,_

_Heading home from my last mission by way of Ibex and Old Crystal City. I know it makes everyone a little glitchy when I don’t forward my report ahead of me, but I’ll be delivering it in person this time. I’m not real sure how secure our communication station is out this way._

_I’m safe and I’m not hurt, which is more than I can say for the Decepticons I met while I was doing my job. Wished you were here more than once, though. Would have been nice to have someone who thinks as fast as I do watching my back. Breakaway is a good bot, but our specialties aren’t all that compatible._

_That new security team Megatron’s got in place ain’t helping, either. Be glad once we’ve figured out how they always just KNOW what we’re doing._

_You want any souvenirs while I’m in the Old City? I hear that there’s still some treat shops running in the decent part of town, and there’s that importer that your buddy Sideswipe likes so much. I’ll be there for a day or two before my extraction, so I’m happy to grab you whatever._

_It’s gonna be nice to be back in Iacon after this mission. I haven’t had a decent shower in at least a meta-cycle and the energon at Darkmount tastes like something distilled from the bottom of the Rust Sea. I swear, I am never complaining about how tasteless the fuel we have at the base is, ever again. I actually_ miss _that synthetic stuff that was coming out of the science labs._

_Anyway, write soon. You know where to send the letters so I’ll get them. Give my brothers my love. And please, don’t worry about me. Like I said, I’m not hurt._

_Love you,  
Jazz_

 

_Dearest Jazz,_

_While you are in the Old City, please see if you can acquire energon gels and stuffed aluminum crisps from the shop Blurr favors in the red district. And Sideswipe says that his trader friend has several items that need picked up for him, including anti-virals and static bandages. Ratchet has flagged those items as urgent, and we would appreciate you and your evacuation shuttle treating them as a priority transport._

_I have discussed your concerns about Breakaway with Commander Highbrow. He says he will have a one-on-one with you after your return. He also requests that you forward on your report once you arrive in the Old City, if you can acquire a properly secure channel. He and I are both concerned about the new Decepticon security forces._

_Be careful, love. Iacon and Ibex are too far apart for me to run to your rescue if something happens before you make it to Old Crystal City._

_Blurr says to tell you he loves you, and Ricochet made a rude gesture at the mention of your name so I am certain he does the same. See you soon._

_All my love,  
Prowl_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

**As the war progressed, a number of the letters between Commanders Prowl and Jazz contain nonsense phrases or references to places that either did not exist at all or had already been destroyed during the fighting. Even without confirmation, it seems that these references were a type of code, used to pass information that was urgent but not critically so. When asked, Prime Emeritus Optimus confirmed that they had often passed information this way, and he identified Old Crystal City as a reference to a pocket of survivors from Praxus who had left the safety of Iacon after the first air raid on the capitol and set up a camp near the ruins of their former home.**

**The reference appears several more times in future letters, indicating that the camp flourished at least until the space battle that stranded both Autobot and Decepticon leaders on the planet Earth. In the current age, however, no traces of this camp remain and we are forced to conclude that there were no survivors or that they turned to one of the warring factions for survival once Cybertron began to go dark.**

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

 

_Dear Jazz,_

_They closed down the race track in Ibex for the duration of the war today. They didn’t announce it beforehand, and I think I’m glad because I wouldn’t have run my best if I was busy being so sad, but there was a huge media event after the winners took the podium. There were picture and video drones, interviews and this whole big ceremony where they put a gold lock on the gate to close it for the last time._

_I’m carrying home the last first place trophy they’ll hand out for the foreseeable future. It feels awful._

_And it’s not because I don’t understand; I do. It’s too dangerous for us and for the crowd to keep gathering now that the Decepticons are targeting civilian populations again. We all knew Praxus wouldn’t be a one-time assault, and what they did to Crystal City confirmed it. Better to give everyone one last party than to hold one more funeral._

_Of course, this means Breaklight and I are out of a job, and we’re bringing home another racer named Zipline who’s got nothing left in Ibex. I’m torn about what I should do. Breaklight and Zipline are both planning to enlist, but I’m not sure if I should do that or see about becoming a caretaker at the youngling center. I know I’m young to do that, but I kind of liked it while we were in Bitrex._

_How’s Prowl doing after that upgrade? I tried to call him before the race, but all I got was his answering system. I don’t even know if he’s out of recovery or not yet. I hope he’s doing better than I did after those booster jets were installed; purging every time I tried to activate them was the worst I’ve felt since I accidentally drank that jet fuel when I was little._

_We’re taking the long way home, since there’s some fighting to the north and west of the city. I’m glad that we’re leaving, even if I’m sad about the tracks. Better that we clear out now than… well, you know. Anyway, it’ll be about four cycles since we’ve got to go out of our way and that huge section of the highway is gone. Knowing my luck, you’ll be on your way to Protihex or something before I get home and I won’t see you for a meta-cycle or more._

_But I hope not. I miss you and Prowl and Rico and I want to see you all soon._

_Be careful out there._

_Love,  
Blurr_

 

_Hey Blurr!_

_Sorry to hear about the race tracks, mech. I know that getting that part of your life back was important. I wanted to see you run for the Bolts as much as I ever wanted to see you with the Sprinters and I was so proud of you for making their team. That trophy kind of feels like a consolation prize now, doesn’t it?_

_You’re gonna have to trust me when I say it really is for the best, though. I’m glad that you and your friends are getting out of the city right now, and I’m even more glad that you’re taking the long way. East and South are the places to be right now. If your driver will listen to you, get them to stop in Tyger Pax when you need to recharge. It won’t be safe there forever, but it’s safe for now and you can crash with my friend Hound and his family instead of spending your money at the hotel._

_If you want to drag it out for a day and have a little break before you get back to the real world, have him give you the short tour of the zoo while you’re there. He was a wilderness guide before work dried up in Gygax and they had to move to the city, so he knows a ton about the animals that the zookeepers don’t tell you._

_And if things seem like they’re about to take a turn for the worst, you can trust him to get the three of you out safely. I would, and have, trusted Hound and his mate with my life._

_No matter what happens, I’ll see you soon. I’m not leaving Iacon for at least two meta-cycles because I’m going in for some new training, unless the worst happens. In which case, Prowl and I will be on our way to get you._

_And Prowl is doing as well as can be expected. The new tactical suite is wreaking havoc on his electrical system, so he just sort of freezes up sometimes, but the chief medic himself is working on the problem and we figure it’ll be fixed in a few days._

_Rico was here for about twelve joors and I told him you said hi. He said he wants you to stay in Iacon, so he’ll be glad if you decide to take that job at the youngling center. Full confession, I will be too; I want you to be safe and being in the military is not safe. But that’s also not my choice to make and we can talk face to face when you get here._

_Love you, bro. See you soon.  
Jazz_

 

**Little brother,**

**I am doing reasonably well. I apologize if I worried you when I did not answer your call. As I asked jazz to tell you, my upgrade has resulted in severe electrical difficulties that have impacted me very negatively. I was in the medical center having several blown relays replaced when you called, and then your number at the track was no longer in service when I was able to return your call.**

**Please don’t be upset with him, but Jazz allowed me to read your last letter. I am grateful that you have left Ibex, especially in light of the rioting that occurred the day after the track closed. You are safer on the road, and will be safer still if you do meet with Jazz’s friend Hound.**

**I wish that I had more time to write, but my repeated trips to medical have put me far behind in my work and the tactical division is demanding that I come in and make up for lost time. My team needs something to do as much as I need to be doing it.**

**Be safe, Blurr. Do not hesitate to call at the base if you are in danger, however. Take care of yourself and your friends.**

**Love,  
Prowl**

**_Commander Prowl,_ **

**_I am certain you have heard what happened to the convoy from Bitrex. New travels slowly, however, so I wish to reassure you that Blurr and his friend Breaklight made it safely to Tyger Pax. There were two other survivors, and all four of them are in the care of a friend of mine at the regional hospital. Blurr’s injuries were not extensive, though I am afraid that his friend will be in the hospital for some time._ **

**_He will be safe at my house, as safe as anyone can be now, once he is discharged. My mate and I will see to his care until you or Jazz can come for him. Come into the city from the south if you can; there have been more Decepticon patrols around the north and west sides than usual lately._ **

**_I hope to see you soon,  
Hound of Gygax_ **

**_Hound,_ **

**__Thank you. _When we heard that a convoy of non-combatants had been destroyed near Tyger Pax we feared the worst, and news of any survivors had not reached Iacon. I was more thankful than you can know for the courier's arrival this morning._**

**_Jazz and a small retrieval unit are already en route to Tyger Pax, to pick up any survivors who can safely leave the city and the bodies of the others to return them to their families. The return courier will likely just arrive before they do, but you may be asked to entertain Jazz for a few days while he carries out a secondary objective in the city before returning to Iacon._ **

**_Thank you again, both for ensuring that Blurr is safe and for your thoughtfulness in sending your letter. You relieved a great deal of worry for us all._ **

**_With gratitude,  
Prowl_ **

**-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-**

**“I still can’t believe that you pulled all this out of that old lockbox.”**

**Vestige turned away from checking the display one last time, to see the student she had been sharing the clean room with the day she found the letters. “To be honest, neither can I. Much better than crop reports, though.”**

**“I’ll say. I like the way it’s laid out. Everything is easy to read and follow.” The other student smiled. “I’m a little jealous that your graduation presentation is so good, and mine’s just… the evolution of the energon dagger.”**

**“Well, energon daggers did play an important part in the war.” Vestige returned the smile. “In fact, after reading all these letters, I’m pretty sure Commander Jazz would have died a thousand times without one. After the faculty review tomorrow, you’re welcome to review them more in-depth if you need sources.”**

**The other student cocked his head in confusion. “You’d let me use them for research after I made fun of you?”**

**“You weren’t that bad.” Vestige turned back to her power check. “And they’ll be university resources by the end of the month anyway. I’m just letting you get a jump on things.”**

**“Wow. Thanks.” The mech sounded like he was grinning, which made her smile widen. “I’m Flash, by the way.”**

**“Vestige.” She turned away from her settings long enough to let him see that she was still smiling. “It’s nice to meet you, Flash.”**


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warmest wishes for the remainder of the holiday season! Whether you celebrated yesterday, last week, the week before that or won't party til New Year's, I hope that it's full of love and blessings! 
> 
> Here's your holiday gift from me: and early posting of the next chapter of Lost Memories. You weren't supposed to get this til the middle of January, but I think it's worth blowing the schedule for. <3

“Well, Vestige, tomorrow is opening day for the exhibit. You ready?” Step-Up looked proud as he asked the question. 

Vestige knew he and his team had done excellent work with the display, and he deserved to be proud of the project. “I don’t know, honestly. But at least all of you made me look really good if I end up purging from nervousness.”

“Nah, you’ll be fine. By the time you start speaking to the crowd, you’ll forget you were ever worried.” The Constructicon gave her a smile. “Trust me, you’ve got this.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” Nervousness was pooled in her fuel tank at the thought of the formal opening and the speech she would have to give, and she hoped he was right. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Dear Prowl,_

_I’m finishing basic training tomorrow. They accelerated the end of the program so that there are enough soldiers to replace all the mechs that were lost when they blew the senate hall. They aren’t even making time for a ceremony, they’re just sending us to our first post as soon as we finish our last classes._

_I’ve spent a lot of time being scared, lately, and i think this makes it worse than it has been all the other days put together. Sure, my speed means that I’m primarily a courier, but the Decepticons have it out for everyone now. I’m a little afraid that I’ve just traded in my racing stripes for a bright red target._

_I’m not looking for advice for a change. I just needed to say it to someone who won’t judge._

_Anyway, I just wanted you to know what was going on, before my orders came across your desk. I guess I’ll see you sooner than we thought._

_Stay safe.  
Love,  
Blurr_

 

_Dear Blurr,_

_I drew up the orders for the new graduates myself, but thank you for trying to warn me. I argued against the decision to graduate you early, but once I was overruled by Commander Steelrain, I requested the duty. It was as much as I could do, to make certain that all of you were as safe as I could make you under the circumstances. I think the remaining officers were glad to hand it off; there are too many things being unattended now that half of them are gone._

_I am scared, too. I have been often, especially since Praxus, but we have no real leaders and no apparent prospects for replacing any of them. We are on a path to lose the war, simply because there is no command structure left._

_And I am exhausted. Before, when Iacon seemed to be safe for everyone, I could at least get sufficient rest. Now, I am having a good night if I can recharge for three joors. I wish I could stay safe, but I might end up making a fatal mistake simply because I haven’t recharged._

_I will see you soon, little brother. Stay strong._

_Love,  
Prowl_

 

_Dearest Prowl,_

_Clean up in downtown Iacon is actually going better than expected. The senate hall was a total loss, like everyone thought, but the Celestial Temple survived with only a few scratches and the Opera Hall will be repairable once things have calmed down. There have been several survivors, too. None of the senate, but again we were expecting that, but we’ve sent two hundred civilians off with medical which is a miracle._

_The bad news is that the Matrix of Leadership is missing. No one will say it, but given the way we found his body, it looks like someone stole it right out of Sentinel Prime’s chest before the recovery teams got here. There’s been some arguing about how we’ll pick another leader without it, and some of it was loud enough that the civilians in the recovery tents heard. It won’t be long now before everyone knows, and then we’ll have to find it or the people won’t follow any leader that the military tries to pick._

_I can’t even believe that’s a conversation any of us have to have. You and I know both know that it takes more than some ancient, glowing artifact to make a good leader but no one’s being rational right now. Everyone’s too scared._

_Even me._

_Commander Highbrow says we’ll be back at the base in a couple of days. The civilian search and rescue teams are better at this than most of the mechs we’ve got on the ground right now, and he thinks we need to be there for whatever’s coming next. He’s probably right, since I imagine the officers that survived the attack are stretched pretty thin._

_Fraggit, he and I both said that having that many officers with the Prime all in one place like that was a bad idea. Wish they had listened to us for a change._

_I heard that they’re graduating the cadets early this morning. That true? If it is, they’re idiots. Those bitlets already come out of basic needing weeks more training before they’re really combat ready, because drills and sims aren’t the same at all. They’re just gonna be target practice, or the rest of us are going to be spending so much time making sure that they don’t die that we do instead. It’s not even that I don’t want Blurr out here, though I don’t. I don’t want a bunch of bots barely out of their younglinghood out here without enough training that i can trust them to watch my back._

_I have a feeling that this time next meta-cycle, we’ll be trying to figure out how to replace just as many dead bots._

_Primus, Prowl, I’m tired already. I don’t know if I can take meta-cycles or vorns more of this war. I was never built for this, but it’s worn me down so much more than I expected._

_Hope you’re getting more recharge than you were when I left._

_Love you,  
Jazz_

 

_Dearest Jazz,_

_The other officers overrode me when I said that graduating the cadets early was a bad idea, so the rumors you heard were correct. However, I was allowed to draw up their orders, so I have done what I can to make sure that they receive more field training before moving on to real combat. We both know how well that might work in practice, but the theory is sound. I sent many of them, including Blurr, to Sergeant Kup and his unit, and I know that he will ensure they have the skills they need to survive. I wish that I could do more for them, but this was the best option given the choices I had._

_I notice that Commander Highbrow has arrived in Iacon without you. He gave me an address to forward correspondence to, but he refused to tell me where he had sent you. I hope that you are safe and far from any active combat zones._

_By the way, I was able to stop in Crystal City a little while ago, and was able to procure some of those candies your carrier loved so much. They should be delivered tomorrow and I feel certain you will enjoy them once you’re home. With luck, they will not be so hard to find again in the future._

_There is a great deal of talk of new promotions when they think I am not listening. The senior officers have decided to fill their ranks out regardless of whether we have a Prime or not, and I find myself suddenly less popular than I was before the Decepticon assault on the Senate Hall. What this means for any of the current junior officers I cannot say, but I find it doubtful that any of us will find favorable positions in the power structure that is being created now._

_Before the assault, I rarely worried for my safety. Now I find it difficult to return to my quarters and feel even the illusion of security. You said you hoped I was getting more rest, but I confess that I am not._

_If you are able, come home soon. Highbrow and I are friends and allies, but I cannot confide in him the way I can confide in you._

_I love you,  
Prowl_

 

_Dear Prowl,_

_Hearing about those candies made my cycle. That’s the kind of news I needed. And thanks for telling me about Blurr. He’s in the best possible hands with Kup._

_I can’t give you any details, but I should be home in another couple of cycles. A meta-cycle at the longest. Hopefully, you’ll like the souvenir i’m bringing you._

_Keep your head up._

_Love you,  
Jazz_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

**The narrative shifts in tone again here as the death of Sentinel Prime changed Cybertron in more ways that anyone could have imagined. He had not been a beloved leader, but his term of office had been the only one many mechanisms had known and such a sudden change left society as a whole feeling cut adrift.**

**Commander Jazz was not, as we have seen, a mech given to melancholy. Nor was Commander Prowl. However, both of them were deeply affected by the loss and the societal shift that followed.**

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

_Dearest Jazz,_

_I know that you meant well, but I may murder the souvenir you brought me from the Acid Wastes if he does not stop making my job harder than it already is. Assuming that Chromia does not do it first._

_How long until you are home again to provide the distraction that he obviously needs?_

_Yours,  
Prowl_

 

_Prowl, my love,_

_You wound me. I told you that he’d be easy to take care of if you let him at the library. Give him a book and you can forget about him for a while._

_Twelve cycles, at the most. See if you can’t quietly get a few units to head back to Iacon for some special training. I promise, it will be worth it._

_Love,  
Jazz_

 

_Dearest Jazz,_

_When I said that I was tired of attempting to entertain your souvenir from the Acid Wastes, I did not mean that I wanted you to UPGRADE HIM._

_That said, there is a great deal of dispute about his legitimacy and the senior officers are all focusing their ire on a mech that they do not believe is who he says rather than myself and the others. He is taking this with a surprising amount of good humor and Highbrow and I have both been impressed by how he presents himself despite how irritating he can be when he is exceptionally determined to do something._

_And, while I find his new friend slightly disturbing, he has been exceptionally useful as a source of information. I still do not know how he survived the assault on the Senate Hall, however, and I am not certain he does either._

_Ricochet sent a brief message earlier today. His unit intercepted a squadron of Decepticons outside Ankmor Park and they are returning to Iacon with a pair of prisoners. I also saw Blurr leaving Highbrow’s office last night, but we did not have time to speak with each other. He looked in good health, though I think he may have changed his blue to a different shade._

_I hope that you finish soon, and return home quickly. And that you stay for more than fifteen joors this time. Seeing Blurr reminded me of just how much I miss you._

_I love you.  
Yours forever,  
Prowl_

 

_Dearest Prowl,_

_Upgrading him wasn’t my idea and you know it! I didn’t even know that A3 was carrying that missing puzzle piece, though I think maybe Highbrow did. Which explains a lot, actually. Just try not to kill the two of them too hard before I get home, and then we’ll be able to present a united front against Steelrain and the other senior officers._

_Or, worst case scenario, we all go AWOL and stage our own rebellion._

_I’m joking, by the way. We don’t have the resources to set up our own army or our own government right now. We’ll just have to change things from the inside, like we’ve been doing._

_Because you and I both know that my souvenir is the real deal. Just pass on this other letter to him, and maybe I’ll manage to persuade him to be a little more patient til I get home with that last thing I was sent after._

_Gotta say, when Highbrow tapped me for special operations, I never expected to be sent on so many missions to bring back toys and trinkets._

_If you see him again, stop Blurr long enough to give him a hug from both of us. I’m sure he needs it, and I know you do. And he’s fast enough to make up the time._

_I love you. I’ll see you soon._

_Yours forever,  
Jazz_


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter this month, but I promise that chapter 12 will make up for it! ❤

_Dear Blurr,_

_I don’t know if all of you have heard yet, but we finally have a new Prime. His name is Optimus, and he is a hopeless idealist, but he also cares deeply and is very good at getting people to listen to him. I think you will like him._

_Now that his confirmation is official, he is moving some units to different regions and while I cannot tell you where you are going, I can tell you that it will be drier than where you are based now. I will also worry about you less, because I will not be as far away._

_Hey, little brother! Prowl’s making it all sound awful boring so let me pick it up. You’re transferring and so are we! Top secret clearance right now, but you’ll find out soon enough. We’re packing up the whole command center, though, and heading for a much more secure location. We’re even going to get a few days off together after the move, Cons willing._

_Prowl’s right that you’ll like Optimus. He’s a good bot, a little older than you but younger than Prowl, which is messing with some mechs but it’s just like having another brother if you ask me. He even remembers watching you race once or twice, so you’ll have that to talk about. And his teacher is_

_Blurr, my apologies. Jazz stole the pad out of my hand while I was writing. We both know he could be writing his own letter and I am certain he thinks he was being cute. Regardless, he is correct and we will be transferring to the same base. We will even introduce you to Optimus personally, as we have gotten to know him very well over the last several meta-cycles._

_We will see you soon. We love you._

_Your brothers,  
Prowl and Jazz_

_Dear Jazz,_

_Did he remove your hands in your recharge after that?_

_Love you,  
Blurr _

 

_Dear Prowl,_

_See you soon! Don’t have time for a lot because we just got our orders, but I appreciated the heads up! Can’t wait to see you and to meet the Prime!_

_Love you.  
Your brother,  
Blurr_

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

**The abrupt ascension of Optimus Prime had always been something of a mystery. The Prime Emeritus himself was reluctant to share details, possibly to protect the privacy of the friends who assisted him, and the brief look into the process we have here is very illuminating. If not for the effort of a few Autobot officers, Cybertronian history could have taken a very different turn.**

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

 

Vestige peeked around the curtain that was hiding her display, looking at the crowd gathered in front of it. The unveiling event was invitation only, and it didn’t look like anyone had turned their invitation down. “Is that the Prime out there?”

“You knew Optimus would be here,” Professor Lancer replied.

“Not Optimus, Rodimus Prime” the student pulled the curtain back a bit more so that the older femme could look out more easily. 

“Oh, so it is.” Lancer smiled. “I’m surprised he managed to get away from the delegation from Charr to be here.”

“He ditched a diplomatic conference to see my display?” Vestige’s fuel tank flipped. 

“Oh, no he didn’t. He’s brought Ambassador Cyclonus as his plus one.”

“He _what_?!” The younger femme felt her tank lurch and she sprinted for a waste bin as the additional nervousness caused her to purge. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

She didn’t know if it was because she had already purged or because Step-Up was right about not feeling so nervous once she was behind the podium, but now that she was looking out at the crowd, Vestige felt little of her earlier fear. It could also have been the twenty minutes that she’d had to compose herself afterward, though.

Prime Emeritus Optimus gave her a thumbs up as she looked over the crowd and she felt a surge of pride for herself and her work. Commanders Prowl and Jazz were right about him and how he could set anyone at ease.

“Good morning, honored guests.” Vestige smiled at the crowd as everyone fell silent and looked at her. “When I sent the invitations for the private unveiling of this display, I didn’t expect more than a handful of you to actually come. To see so many of you here to support me and honor your former comrades is humbling. My thanks especially to Ambassador Cyclonus, as I doubt a simple graduation project was part of your agenda.”

There were a few chuckles and Rodimus Prime nudged the purple mech playfully, as if they were old friends. Ambassador Cyclonus gave her a small, tight smile in return. “Commander Prowl was an honorable warrior and a trustworthy mechanism. I come to honor his memory.”

“Thank you, Ambassador.” Her smile widened. “I hope that is why you’ve all come. When I started this project, I didn’t realize how important it would be. I knew the letters mattered and that they were a vital part of our history, but as I worked on it, I saw a side of the war that has never been made public before. And I saw people, mechs with hopes and fears, dreams and missed opportunities. But most of all, I saw mechs who loved deeply. Today, I am humbled to see that love for them returned.

“I had a speech planned for this. I’ve even got the notes here,” the femme held up a data pad, “And it’ll probably become part of some future historian’s graduation presentation because after seeing all of you here, I don’t think I need it. Step-Up, if you and your team could please pull back the curtain?”

Step-Up and Crawlway walked quickly to opposite ends of the curtain and grabbed the cords that would draw the heavy cloth back. It moved with a muted whooshing sound, revealing the soft teal of the display lights and the first reading station with Commander Jazz’s first letter.

“Please, honored guests, make your way into the display and read the letters that Commander Prowl and Commander Jazz left behind for us.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Excuse me, Miss Vestige?”

“Yes?” Vestige finished folding the last of the chairs and turned to look at the maintenance mech who had spoken to her. She was tired, but he was doing half the work of cleaning up for her and she didn’t want to ignore him just because of that. Though she didn’t really want to be talking to anyone else for a few weeks, either. The day had been amazing and exhausting.

“I just wanted to thank you for this.” The mech smiled and fluttered sensory wings she hadn’t noticed before. “Commander Prowl and Commander Jazz mean a lot to us Praxians. This isn’t the kind of memorial that any of us would have imagined for them, but I think it’s perfect.”

She returned his smile. “You’re welcome. I was really happy to do it. What was your name again?”

“Oh, I’m Hope.”

“Nice to meet you, Hope. Thanks for helping with the clean-up.” She lifted the chair and carried it to the storage rack. “What’s left for us to do before we lock up?”

**Author's Note:**

> Like what you see? Visit my tumblr for other stuff like ficbits, art that other people make and q&a sessions! eerian-sadow.tumblr.com


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